Thursday, July 30, 2009

A Cry For Help/Prayer

Well last evening's blog was based on a conversation I had with Rach at about noon yesterday. Right after I posted it, I found out that things had been going downhill all day. The last 24 hours Jimmie has not been eating well at all and his puking has increased again. This morning after an hour of screaming and struggling Rachael got him to take 80mls after which he puked, badly- 3 times. He must of aspirated because he was retracting a bit afterward and had wet sounding cough.

My mom is in Odessa now with Jimmie. Rachael has gone to get the Prevacid and the Bethanecol. Jimmie doesn't seem to be in distress now so that's good. Hopefully these drugs will make a HUGE difference. Pray that's the case and that Jimmie doesn't suffer with any side effects.

And please pray for Rachael. The extreme struggle to get Jimmie to eat and keep him from puking along with pumping, worry, lack of sleep and hormones has really gotten to her. She is sad, angry, depressed and totally understandably exhausted. She's having a really hard time letting go of not being able to breastfeed. She's sad for Jimmie because he wants so badly to be on his back kicking and grooving under his play gym, but everytime she lets him do that he refluxes. If she lets him move free at all he suffers for it. The disapointment and grief that Jimmie was born so early is FINALLY really hitting her. And though she is grateful beyond words at how alive and well he is- she is still very sad. In just 10 months Rachael and Justin lost their firstborn Gracie and then of course Jimmie was born into very dire and traumatic circumstances.

We have decided she needs some intervention in the form of MAJOR help with Jimmie. We are working on a schedule that will include someone being there for Rachael every day. Thankfully this is our last day of dance classes for the summer so I will be able to help a lot. Rachael tends to say she's fine and try and struggle through, but that's not working for her right now- she's falling apart and it's not pretty. Justin needs prayer too because he's trying to work and pay the bills, deal with Jimmie's needs and now Rachael is really needing to be dealt with as well. He is at the end of his rope too. Lots of stress. Anyway- this is sort of a cry for help. And the way you all can help- is pray! Pray that Rachael and Justin can face and deal with the disapointment and hurt over this whole traumatic thing. Pray that God meets them and Rachael can have sweet comfort and communion with Him. Pray that they can have a Holy perspective.

This emotional and psychological crisis has been building for a while with Rachael and since we have shared this journey thus far I want to try to keep being as honest as possible. I know there are many of you who read this blog that have gone through something similar and can relate. And there are also many of you - family and friends who love Rachael, Justin and Jimmie and will intercede for them.

My Dad prayed this scripture for them last night, "...but they who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint." Isa. 40:31

We are so grateful for you all- our warriors!

Love,
Amber

14 comments:

  1. Sending you all hugs and prayers.

    The Tandys

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  2. We're praying for you too! Hang in there!!

    Erin Sheafer & family

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  3. Prayers are coming. Hang in there. Rachael, I know it's hard and I can feel your emotional, physical, and spiritual pain. Hold on to your faith and pray. Let anyone who wants to help help. That was my biggest mistake. Go take a long soak in the tub and cry - just let it all out. It will do you good.

    Amber, you are such a good aunt. And I would say you have the best parents. You need to go take a soak and cry too. It was the best advice I got when my oldest, born a week late, couldn't keep food down. She projectile vomited everywhere for weeks. Today she is 22 1/2. Things happen.

    Hugs to all of you for your perserverance. It shows all of us what a strong and abiding faith you have in our wonderful Lord and Savior. You are an inspiration to all of us.

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  4. We're praying! We love you all!!

    Adrian and Janelle

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  5. We shall definetly pray for all of you. We love you guys so much!

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  6. I'm praying for Jimmie, Rachael, Justin & all the family & friends helping & concerned. I also have asked others to pray. Susan Hawks

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  7. We are praying for all of you tonight.

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  8. Please let Rachael & Justin know, "that God bought them to this and he will most definitely see them through this." "Change will come in the morning." It's easy to get down when things seem to be going amiss, but just hold on to God's unchanging hand and he will lead them through their hard times. They are so very lucky to have a family circle with such a strong bond. I am praying with your whole family, God bless!!!!

    Mrs L Williams (co-worker of K Gravitt)

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  9. Praying for you all. Let me know what I can do to help. Do we need to organize some meals? Sounds like that might be helpful. Love ya!

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  10. Rachael & Justin it is hard with a new baby even when they are healthy. It is a definite life changing event. I am so sorry for all that you are going through right now. It will pass I promise you. Please don't be afraid to ask for help. Jimmie needs you to be calm and relaxed because he can pick up on that too. I am glad you will be getting help from people who love you. I think of you often and pray that life will get more relaxed soon. Poor little guy he just wants to play. Hang in there and ask for help. Take time to be with each other and enjoy the love you share between each other.
    Kathy Barnes

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  11. Hugs and prayers to Rachael, Justin, and Jimmie!!

    Jill in San Diego

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  12. if i could deliver you pizza i would, but i think it might be cold by the time it gets there! :) i will be praying that the new medication helps and for peace for rach and justin. i hope that you all can get into some kind of routine with friends and family helping out. i wish i was closer, i would love to be there! Jimmie is such a strong little man, and his mommy and daddy are VERY strong too. i have faith that you guys will get through this. you have each other and God and that's all that matters!

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  13. I'm new to the blog, but I'm a parent of a former 26 week preemie. My daughter was born at 1 lb 11 oz and will be 2 this month. It's a hard marathon to run that unfortunately doesn't just end once you are out of the NICU. Trying to pump breast milk when you are emotionally and physically exhausted, and when you are so busy taking care of your fragile baby that you stop taking care of yourself, really difficult. Bless you Auntie Amber for stepping in and taking care of the basic needs you can take care of. Laundry, cooking, cleaning, writing thank you notes, keeping the loved ones updated are all things that need to be done, but not neccesarily by mom or dad.

    My daughter never arched her back in pain from reflux but she threw up daily, often up to three times a day for over a year. They were often violent episodes through the nose with her screaming out sometimes for 10-15 minutes afterwards. It's agonizing. Truly heartbreaking for a mother to watch, over and over again. It seems so basic to get your child to eat food and that's what makes it so devastating when it can't happen "normally". Even harder when you are dealing with a preemie that you are trying to help "catch up".

    Know that I am praying for the family and if you ever want to chat, email me. amandalrowan@gmail.com http://therowanblog.blogspot.com

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