Today is Jimmie's due date. TODAY is Jimmie's due date!!!! I had to write it twice because it is so freaking unbelievable. Birthday- Feb. 11th. Due Date- May 28th. Jimmie was born 107 days before he was due, 15 weeks early in the 6th month of pregnancy (the 2nd trimester). We are beyond blessed that he is alive, well and living at home.
Thinking about where we've been there are a lot of feelings, emotions and memories that come up from that day/night in early January when the terrible situation became clear and began progressing. I have found myself reminiscing a lot the last few weeks with mom. Going back through the traumatic moments and just talking about it. It does not feel good to go there, but it does a lot of good in the long run. I always make sure to see "the cross" in those dark memories. To cover them with the blood of Jesus. Ultimately I have faith there will be peace and healing. The miraculous outcome we have had goes a LONG way towards that healing.
It still hurts though. The darkest moment for me was that first night we found out how dire the situation was. There are obviously many many aspects of this journey we've been on that I have not blogged about. Mostly just because- especially in the beginning I was just laying out the facts. And also because in certain situations it was just too much to try to write about it. Beyond words really. I think in the future I'll have more coherent memories that I could list. Much like I did a year after Gracie. It is very therapeutic for me to face these memories. I have discovered if I don't- I get physically ill.
I will tell you though that first night- the absolute gut wrenching pain and horror that it appeared that Justin and Rachael were losing another child after being told 6 days earlier that everything was perfect, was completely overwhelming. The thought that a perfectly healthy little boy might be forced out about 4 weeks too early to breathe was just horrifying. There were many many dark days and nights following that first one that I blogged about only vaguely. Maybe someday I'll share more specifics. It wouldn't be easy to read or write, but one of the truths in life is that your depths of sorrow are met with greater heights of joy. Going from that terrible despair to the amazing joyous miracles we have witnessed has been something that has changed me forever.
Now that Jimmie is 40 weeks our prayer and our hope is that he can develop like a normal newborn. That would be pretty special. Most micro-preemies have developmental delays even after you adjust their age. We are to look at Jimmie like a newborn even though he is 3 1/2 months old. As far as expectations go we are supposed to adjust his age by 15 weeks until he is 2 years old. In most ways he does seem just exactly like a newborn. He definitely does not resemble an almost 4 month old.
So pray for Jimmie that he'll stay healthy. This is SO IMPORTANT, as any kind of sickness can be extremely dire to babies like Jimmie. Also pray for his development and continue to pray your "chunky monkey fat prayers"!
As always- thank you!